Becoming a mother myself has made me appreciate you in ways I never did before. I think to myself of all the times I knew I was right and you were wrong. Of all the times I never listened to a single word you said to me and of all the trouble it could have saved me if only I did. How you were there for me no matter what the circumstances were. No matter the time of day or night, no matter what you were in the middle of or how far away from me. You were the one person I could always count on.
I dread the day I have to deal with my child acting the way I did. You always ask me what you could have done different to have changed things and the truth of the matter is, absolutely nothing. And as much as I dread the years to come when my little boy will act the same way I know there will be nothing I can do to change his course of action in life. Everyone is meant to go down their own road and there isn’t much anyone can do to change it. But, I will choose to be like you when this day comes as I choose to be like you now.
I will be there no matter what like you were for me. When he calls me in the middle of the night needing something, I will jump out of bed without a second thought and tend to that need. I will hold him tight in my arms when he needs to cry and lend him my ear when he needs to vent. I will love him unconditionally no matter how many mistakes he makes in life or how many times he repeats them. I will have patience and be kind. I will be strong and wise, giving the best advice I can. These, mom, are all the things that you have taught me to be.
I can not thank you enough for everything you have done throughout my life thus far. You have never doubted me for a second even when the rest of the world did including myself. You have always pushed for me to succeed in life even when I thought there is nothing I could be good at. Thank you for teaching me right from wrong and even when I was doing wrong at least I knew the difference. You have always been there for me with open arms and unconditional love. You have shown me what a fulfilling life looks like. I don’t need to have all the money in the world or all the things to be happy. It is what is inside that counts and how you feel at the end of the day about what you have done. You have taught me that family matters most and I have come to learn those words as truth. I thank you for teaching me all of these things.
And as much thanks as I owe you for everything you have done, I owe you that many more apologies. I am sorry.. so so sorry. For everything I have put you through these past 30 years of my life. I am sorry for all the countless hours of sleep you have lost just because of worrying over me. For I know now, I will lose just as many worrying over my own baby boy. I am sorry for letting you down time and time again. I am sorry for all the pain and sorrow I have caused and would do anything to go back in time and take it all away. Though I know I cannot change the past, I look forward to making our future together the best it can be. And to making up for all the hurt I have caused. I carry so much guilt for how I badly I treated you when all you did was love me and I truly am so very sorry mom.
I look forward to sharing special moments with my child as I do with you. You are my shopping buddy, my confidant, and my very very best friend. It is you I want to talk to as soon as I have news I want to share. It is you I want to call when I am sad and lonely or just needing to vent about what a horrible day I had. You are my couch buddy, my ice cream eating partner, and my right hand. I hope my child relies on me the way I rely on you. How would I function without you mom?
You are the kind of mother I aspire to be. A warm, kind-hearted, loving, caring, forgiving, wonderful woman. I want my child to know what unconditional love feels like. I want him to know that I will always choose him over anyone or anything else. I would do anything in the world to ease his pain and make his life just a little bit easier. I will be there with open arms anytime he needs me. I will shower him with love and give him all the hugs and cuddles in the world. I will be strong for him when he can’t be strong for himself. I will let him make mistakes because that is the only way he will learn. And even when he doesn’t want to listen, I will still tell him what I think. These mom, are all the things that you are and what I hope I can be for my son.
I love you beyond words, mom. You are my best friend in life. My biggest fear has always been loosing you. I can’t imagine a life without you in it right by my side cheering me on in whatever new adventure I am pursuing at that moment. I can’t wait for my son to get to know his grandmother and feel all the love that I have felt from you my whole life. I know we are in good hands. You are the light of my life, my sunshine, and the most amazing woman in the world. If I can be half the woman you are I will be eternally grateful. If only daddy could see us now! You are wonder woman to me and I love you.